ENG-101

Joseph Schneider 

6/20/18 

ENG-101 

 Essay 1 Peer Review (Ryan) 

 I like the way you talk about your house being a comfortable place, but I didn’t really get an image for it. I think you should describe it more like what in the house makes you comfortable for example you could say what it feels like to sit in the leather couch. You could also describe the smell of the food like the fish chowder you could describe how clear the game was on your new tv you could say it felt like you weren’t even at your house but like you were there at the game. I think you just need to throw more picture in your essay but I really like the dialogue you did great on that part.  

 I think the main point of your essay is you took a chance to come out of your comfort zone and invite people over to your house that has been a place of security for you not knowing if it would go well or bad but you stayed positive and it worked great. ” I decided it would be fun to have some people over outside of my family join us. I was ready for that. My home is a safe place to me, I feel grounded and at ease with myself there.” I think this really points out why this was a big deal for you and I think it works. Like I said previously though I think you should describe why it’s a safe place, what makes it safe just to give a better picture to the reader. 

 The time frame was really good you pretty much went through the whole day timing it out well in the essay. However, I think in the end you should add to the last paragraph and talk about what it felt like to succeed and what it felt like after everyone left. Where you happy? Did the time fly by, where you sad when your friends left and wish you could have spent more time with them? Just a suggestion. 

 In my opinion when you say, “Despite my assurances to her, I get it. No matter how I’ve grown, and changed, I’m still her little boy who struggled at the early ages with the “social” stuff.” I think that’s one of the most successful parts of your essay it really allowed me to relate to your situation since most people can relate to parents being over protective or over precautious. I also liked your opening it gave a background of what you had to go through and really shows why this was important to you. 

Joseph Schneider 

ENG-101 

6/17/18 

 

Living in The Comfort of Social Interaction 

 

The place where I live, I assume that when most people think about where they live they think of a city or a town just some place. So, I could talk about my home town of Rochester, MA I could describe the corn fields the cranberry bogs the small community. I could talk about the smell of the pollen in the summer air or how it looks when it snows outside. I could mention the noise of the tree frogs calling each other at night or driving late at night and listening to the roaring of all the spring peepers that is sometime louder than the engine of your car. I could talk about the weird smell of the bogs in the morning when the sprinklers are on or the breeze from the pond when you’re out fishing. However, I don’t consider this town to be the place I live. I googled the definition of “live” and one of the definitions was “to continue to have life; remain alive”. When I think about where I continue to have life where I remain alive I think about the people I surround myself with I think about the stories we share the laughs we make all the good times we have and that’s the place I live. I live in the comfort of social interaction. 

 

If I had to describe it as a place I would use my friend’s house as an example. Imagine you’re sitting around a fire, its smoky smell and its warm air brushing your legs it’s hard not to become entranced in its orangey reddish flames. It’s never cold because the summer nights are cool but not too cold and you’re distracted by conversation. Talking about baseball or basketball bragging about who thinks their team is going to win. I’m not big on sports but there’s always so much passion in my friend’s voices when they talk about it there’s so much energy in their sentences and you can’t help but get worked up too. You can look up and see all the stars glistening in the night sky, there’s talking and laughing, and the music is always loud. It’s never silent there’s always a noise. You’re never bored because it’s always easy to fit in. You take a look to right or your left and all it takes is a single sentence to start a conversation that could last an hour a conversation you could remember for the rest of your life. There’s no stress of the things you think about when your mind has nothing else to concentrate on. Instead you’re enjoying yourself you’re smiling, laughing, or even yelling at some points just so someone across the fire can hear you, or just because what you’re talking about requires some dramatization. There’s never any negativity it’s all positive there’s always new faces, new laughs, new smiles. I count this as the place I live because of the feeling I get when I surround myself with a lot of people, the best way to describe it is just a vibe. This vibe fills your body and drowns out all the negativity of your previous week. It puts a smile on your face and warms your heart it makes you feel at home. 

 

I look around and see so many people enjoying themselves having a good time. Not caring about whether their boss is being a dick to them or how their college grades are. They’re smiling because they’re living in that moment and that’s where I live that’s where I’m alive not the house I live in or the town I’m from or this state. The place where I live is where I’m surrounded by fellow people having a good time.  

Home, the place where I eat most of my meals the place I sleep at the house my family lives in, at least that’s what it used to be. Now it’s the place I dread the most, when I’m home I am in my room. This box with red walls that I painted myself and a blue carpet I’ve had for my whole life. I used to love being home, coming home from school or from a sleepover was always relieving. “Ah finally I’m home I can relax now.” Is what I used to say. Now home isn’t home anymore. My parents are going through a divorce if you can even call it that because my mom wants to leave my dad but wants to leave with everything and my dad just wants her to stay.  

It used to be every weekend on either Sunday or Saturday id wake up to my dads old rock music. I’d come downstairs to him making breakfast for my sister my mom and him, he’d be cooking eggs and singing along to the best of his capability. I’d walk into the kitchen in my morning trance and hear, “Hey who sings this one Joe?” And I’d throw my best guess at it but I was always wrong I never knew the bands just the songs. Now there’s no music there’s no breakfasts there’s no singing there’s no family. Now every morning is the same thing I wake up 5 minutes before my sister and her aid leave for the day and right behind them is my mom leaving. There’s no good mornings from them they’re there and they leave. Then I’m usually out the door 15 minutes after them on my way to work.  

When I’d get home from work id come home to my mom making dinner or asking me if I wanted any and id say, “yea just call me down when it’s done” then I’d walk up the stairs to my room passing by my dad watching fox news on the couch and he’d catch a glimpse of me and ask me how my day was and say he’s proud of me. Now I come home from work and no ones home. My dads out working on his new boat (the reason my mom wants a divorce) and my mom is out at who knows where, most of the time I think its work but I don’t know because I don’t ask. So ill go to my room and sit on my computer doing whatever, then Ill usually hear my dad get in and go up the stairs knock on my door and come in and ask me how I’m doing how my day was then he’ll go change and wait for my sister to get home. Then usually my mom comes home and goes right into her room and shuts the door. Shell come out from time to time to ask me pointless questions and try to squeeze as much info about my personal life out of me. Or to go down stairs and make herself dinner. 

 So now you’re probably thinking right now why isn’t his home a home anymore. I dread coming home I’m filled with anxiety when I come in late at night. I’m afraid ill wake up my sister or worse my mom because that triggers a full on investigation by the Federal Buero of Mom. I feel like I’m hooked up to lie detector test every time she talks to me. Its always question after question its never a conversation and it just stresses me out because every question I ask summons 2 more its like cutting the head off a hydra. You can’t even get annoyed or she just gets annoyed and then has an attitude leading to me having an attitude and one of us yelling. It’s like everything is an argument and every opinion I have is wrong to her. I’ll try my hardest sometimes to talk to her and tell her what’s up in my life and how I feel about things but that just turns into her saying I didn’t raise you like that who’d you get that opinion from. That’s why this house doesn’t feel like home anymore. Home to me is where I can be who I want to be. Every time I come here its like im being who my mom wants me to be. I can’t say before this whole divorce thing that everything was perfect, my parents would fight a decent amount, but they would always make up and they would always be happy. Now its a lot of silence and shit talking, my dad will ask if my mom has said anything about the divorce and my mom will talk shit about my dad saying he’s a liar and that’s what pisses me off the most. Their divorce is their problem and they need to work it out the stress of their divorce shouldn’t bounce back on me and that’s what it feels like and that’s why my house isn’t my home anymore. 

The place where I live, I assume that when most people think about where they live they think of a city or a town just some place. So, I could talk about my home town of Rochester, MA I could describe the corn fields the cranberry bogs the small community. I could talk about the smell of the pollen in the summer air or how it looks when it snows outside but I don’t consider this town to be the place I live. I google the definition of “live” and one of the definitions was “to continue to have life; remain alive”. When I think about where I continue to have life where I remain alive I think about the people I surround myself with I think about the stories we share the laughs all the good times we have and that’s the place I live. I live in the comfort of social interaction. If I had to describe it as a place I would use my friend’s house as an example. Imagine you’re sitting around a fire it’s never cold because the summer nights are cool but not too cool there’s talking and laughing and music it’s never silent there’s always a noise. You take a look to right or your left and all it takes is a single sentence to start a conversation that could last an hour. There’s no stress of the things you think about when your mind has nothing else to concentrate on instead you’re enjoying yourself you’re smiling laughing or even yelling at some points just so someone across the fire can hear you or just because what you’re talking about requires some dramatization. I count this as the place I live because of the feeling I get when I surround myself with a lot of people, the best way to describe it is just a vibe. A vibe I get when I look around and see so many people enjoying themselves having a good time. Not caring about whether their boss is being a dick to them or how their college grades are. They’re smiling because they’re living in that moment and that’s where I live that’s where I’m alive not the house I live in or the town I’m from or this state. The place where I live is where I’m surrounded by strangers having a good time.